Moving On

The Vision

When I came to Science Applications International Corporation in the fall of 2003 I was so excited to make a difference. I had been out of grad school for about a year and a half and had yet to really apply the skills that I had learned there. I imagined someday, after changing the world, I would leave SAIC and head on to bigger and better things. I imagined myself standing in the doorway of my office, somewhat tired from a day of hectic, exciting work. Standing there with my trench coat in hand and looking somewhat more svelte than I was at the time, I would turn to look at the empty office. A flood of memories would cascade through my mind. The jokes, the laughing faces, the lives that were changed, all those times I saved the world from utter devastation, they would all run through my mind and with a sly grin I would turn out the lights, shut the door to my office and walk out.

The Reality

Reality however, was much different. Despite the fact that I have worked in a cube my entire time here and therefore have no lights and no door I was thinking that I at least had another to weeks to work in the whole “saving the world” part of it. But that was not to be either. While I may still save the world in the next two weeks, today is my last day in my cube at the Towers here in McLean. When I got to work this morning I was told to pack up and report to the Pentagon in the morning and that I would finish out my time with SAIC there. So I packed up all my belongings, it took half of a small box and tonight I will stand in the “no doorway” and think back across the years (both of them) and thank the Lord for this opportunity. I have learned so much in my time here. The Lord certainly called Emille and I to Northern Virginia and he used SAIC to confirm that call. I could not have had a better, more understanding boss. My co-workers have been awesome. I have nothing but good things to say about my time here and I wish the best for everyone I have worked with.

The Humbled

The other day I met a guy fresh from grad school who thought that he knew it all and the more he talked, the more it was apparent that he did not. I found it annoying. I was talking to him and all of the sudden was flush with embarrassment as I realized I was looking at myself from two years back. This guy was much smarter than I ever was after grad school. I hope that the Lord guides him as he guided me to a kind, but not necessarily gentle occupational refining fire. He will no doubt be a SecDef someday and my humiliation will be complete. I thank the Lord that he put me into contact with people who tolerate(d) me and lead me through the details. As I look forward to the career change I cannot help but be excited and humbled at the same time. I look forward to the change of pace but am humbled by again being the ignorant new guy. I am confident in my abilities and yet humbled by my inadequacies. It is only with the Lord that we succeed at anything and so I will be doing my best to cling to Him as I make this transition.

I would type more but my mom is the only one still reading, and there is a world that needs saving.